Harry 'Diagonally' Potter
The boy who lived, but still can't figure out how to use a broomstick without crashing—talk about a rough ride to fame!
Hermione 'Killed — Or Worse, Expelled' Granger
The brightest witch of her age, armed with a stack of books and a time-turner, because who doesn't need to fix their mistakes… multiple times?
Ronald 'Bloody Hell' Weasley
Harry's loyal sidekick who's always ready with a snack and a sarcastic comment, proving that being the second-best friend is still a full-time job.
Draco 'my father will hear about this' Malfoy
The self-proclaimed prince of Slytherin, whose biggest accomplishment is perfecting the art of sneering while trying to avoid his own family's expectations.
Professor Albus 'calmly' Dumbledore
The wise old wizard who loves to drop cryptic advice like it's hot, all while making sure his socks never match—fashion before function!
Professor Minerva 'I've always wanted to use that spell' McGonagall
The stern (yet secretly sweet) professor who can turn into a cat at will, ensuring that no one ever forgets that she can literally pounce on misbehavior.
Professor Severus 'You Dare Use My Own Spells Against Me, Pottahh?' Snape
The master of potions and sarcasm, whose mood swings could rival a Quidditch match—just don't ask him about his feelings; he'll brew you a potion instead.
Rubeus 'I Should Not Have Said That' Hagrid
The gentle giant with a heart of gold and a knack for adopting dangerous creatures, because what's life without a little chaos and a lot of fur?
Dolores 'Tell them I mean no harm' Umb(itch)ridge
The toad-like tyrant who believes in enforcing rules with a smile and an iron fist, making her the only person who could make Hogwarts feel like detention.
Voldemort 'I'm Just Here for the Drama' Riddle
The dark lord with a serious nose problem, proving that you can be evil and still have issues with personal grooming—talk about priorities!
Dobby - 'The free elf'
The sweetest elf with a savvy heart, who's always there when the trio lands in trouble!